Quiet. It’s always quiet now.
As the flood of the sink flows up
Dishes are the only arks
To be scrubbed down
Spotless. You stand there, washing the sheen
Off. I try to talk to you
But the right words flail around,
Splashing dishwater
In a rainy, wet bowl.
The music gets louder, blazing
Out a hard sound track,
Hot jazz out of Styrofoam speakers.
I want to laugh, or anything, really,
But you just stand there.
And there is quiet.
It strains the bands and expands the empty space
Contorting the corners, gliding across the face
Of the faded wall clock, ticking down its circle round
Waves of heat and color crashing without sound
And you stand there. And I stand here.
And a barrier keeps between
A tsunami wave rising
Almost surmising
The silence settling unseen
Like snowflakes, but redder
Decorating your dark hair
In a glorified haze
Over numerous days
Lying amid Asphodel, fair.
And the quiet, it rises higher
As each minute tocks
On the round, square clock.
And I try to say something
But I lost the words a week ago
A torrent spilled out, stepping over twisted ankles
Without even enough energy to apologize
They lack conviction.
Now I know what it means to be hurricane subtle
I wish I could help you, but I can’t
My words don’t work anymore
And I ask you: are you okay.
You look at me, smile shortly,
And shake your head
In my head.
But you don’t say anything
You don’t even hear me
My lips make no sound
I’ve already done enough damage
I can’t risk doing anymore
Why won’t you—
Why won’t you—
Break the silence
And I’m sorry, and I’m sorry, and I’m sorry
And I wish I could take everything back
But I can’t
And you hate me
And I hate me
So at least we have that in common.
And I’m reeling when I shouldn’t be
There’s really no reason
No justification
For me to feel this way
We are on a boat that is sinking
Into dishwater and rainwater and tears
And I don’t think I can swim.
But you just stand there
In an empty sink
Thinking thoughts I couldn’t touch
In a million years.
Thus begins Season 2. I know a real explanation for my absence is warranted, but it is not for now. See you soon.
Nimbus in a Bottle 